Disclaimer: This post was written for The Growing Up Guide.
We’ve all been there, when you’re talking to someone on Tinder, you’ve been on a couple of awkward (yet pleasant) dates, and suddenly you get this overwhelming feeling of disgust and everything they do or say just makes you cringe.
This is what Urban Dictionary describes as getting “The Ick’.
Their definition explains: “From then on, you can’t look at the person the same way, you just progressively get more and more turned off by them, weirdly & maybe for no reason in particular, grossed out by them.”
After this, things will never be the same, and eventually the relationship will just fizzle out. But why do we do this? And what steps can we take to avoid getting the dreaded ‘Ick’?
Deal with your commitment issues…
A lot of cases of “The Ick’ stem from commitment issues. Maybe you’ve had bad relationships in the past that are subconsciously stopping you from moving on? You’re scared of getting hurt and you’re on the look out for their flaws to give you a reason to bail before things get too serious.
Once you start to acknowledge this, you can focus on getting to know someone new and just have fun, without any pressure.
Forget about everyone else…
We live in a world where we have too much choice. You know that there are hundreds of people just waiting for you to swipe right, and what if one of them is better than who you’re talking to now? This makes it easier to sack off your latest potential match in search of someone else.
Forgetting about someone who could be better will allow you to focus on who you’re talking to now instead of fleeing at the first warning sign.
Just give them a chance…
Everyone has their flaws and there’s probably things that they don’t find too attractive about you too. There’s no such thing as the perfect human and we need to stop searching for them.
Give the poor guy/gal a chance and try to work through ‘The Ick’. You can do it!